Ragini for a couple of months was feeling the heat. The burden of being stuck in another incurable illness wiped optimistic shades that defined her all along. Gout confined her to bed. Earlier diabetes had restricted her diet for years now. She was a foodie. Gout further restricted her love for alcohol. Throughout her life Ragini was a very fit person. She hardly fell ill. Being in sports gave her an advantage of eating healthy. Her growing up years saw participation in events that won her awards and laurels. Never in her wildest of dreams had she thought that as soon as she would hit 40 she would have to live on medicines for smooth movement. She married in her 25th year of bloom. Her husband Ravi, a doctor by profession, was mostly busy. This was enough a reason for absence of intimacy in this arrangement. They did manage to have a kid in the second year of marriage. Vikrant was sent abroad to study as soon as his 8th birthday celebrations got over.  This way he was unable to witness the numerous fights his parents had while he was away. Abuses never took centre stage but blame game was a favourite pastime whenever they came face to face under one roof. 

A librarian found solace in books and that also meant that bibliophiles were Ragini’s favourite people. Being among children filled her days of questions. Questions without answers haunted her for eons. There came a point where questions died too and she resigned to her fate. Street food was a habit but being a diabetic forced her to kill her desires for sumptuous escapades. Ravi’s obsessions were his patients and their treatments. In the bid to give his best Ragini was neglected. The mutual decision of sending Vikrant far from their eyes acted as an unbridgeable wedge in their hearts. Communication was limited. 

‘How is Vikrant? asked Ravi one fine day.

‘Busy with his exams. He whatsapped us but you were too busy to read so telling you Ravi.’ added Ragini.

‘If you expect me to read his messages while I am operating left right and centre then I have no words to express my disappointment, dear wife.’ growled Ravi. 

‘Very well said husband. I know your first love is your profession and then other things follow. Your son was an accident I agree but as he is here midst our lives we need to acknowledge his existence by at least replying to his messages whenever he needs us.’ hissed Ragini. 

‘For that I know you are there and I am there too I will see to it that before the day ends I get time to talk to him. Say nothing further as I have a very important conference coming up. Bye.’ Ravi stormed out of the room without listening to Ragini’s input. 

Over the years this is what it had all come to. Her unsaid and unfinished sentences never had an audience. The walls and floors of the house were the only listeners. As for Ravi, that house was there to come, bathe, eat, sleep and then leave. Outdoor conferences meant a dinner or lunch at the elitist restaurant with his wife just before leaving. Being away for days he felt lessened wifey complaints this way. For Ragini it was a mechanical marriage devoid of intimacy, sharing and caring. Not that she had not tried making it work but it always fell flat. Best of treatments were given to Ragini by her doctor husband but illnesses back to back brought irritability and Ravi had no time for that. Ragini loved literary retreats, cozy escapades and undivided attention. Ravi was the complete opposite. Vikrant’s birth aided in creating the emotional distance between them. There were no extra marital affairs, just that hubby and wife had better things to do.

Mumbai, a metropolitan city of India, brought doom in her life. She felt before marriage she was happiest in her birthplace Delhi, the capital of India. It gave her health as well as closeness with people who mattered. Mumbai she felt had deprived her of all that. Very easily she got a job of a librarian in a private school that was the only solace in her married life. Ofcourse, Vikrant could have been helpful in bringing breakthroughs in a dead relationship but frequent outbursts and arguments made him drift into a shell. The change was too obvious for both parents to put aside. In his absence books helped her cope. School was a precious retreat. Gout came knocking at her door unannounced thus pushing her to take voluntary retirement. In the summer of 2019 Ragini was surrounded by a flood of servants all thanks to her illnesses. A cook, nurse, dietician and security personnels filled her house. This was life as strangers were becoming familiar and people who mattered were nowhere to be seen. Ragini cursed her fate. 

Ravi was diagnosed with a brain tumor six months before Vikrant’s 4th birthday. He started bringing mild changes in his behaviour thereon. He was very studious and dedicated towards his studies during his education years. Ragini was his first love. He had always admired women who excelled in sports. The trophies that had come home along with marriage used to fill his heart with pride but he never showed it. In the third year of marriage Ragini was diagnosed with diabetes and that was the first nail in the coffin of erratic behaviour. Being a food lover himself he could understand Ragini’s pain. Earlier, Vikrant’s birth worsened situations for Ragini healthwise. Ravi loved her so much that all was acceptable. Where there is more love then there are more fights the saints say. This weird affection was beginning to affect Vikrant. Ravi had to take a step and Ragini gave in too. Vikrant’s absence in the later years made way to gout in Ragini’s life and for Ravi he too was inching towards his grave. Both were helpless and oblivious to each other’s suffering but they understood things but never gave them their voice.

Surveillance in the house is mandatory for Ravi’s time on Earth. He has to see her in all forms, behaviours and moods. This aspect of his was and is unknown to Ragini. He prefers utmost care 24*7 for her but can’t bear to see her dependent but it is God’s plan. Gout snatches the freedom to do things on one’s own. He never wants her to know about his illness. A mask is the last resort for his peaceful exit from the world. Never did he once hear her use any bad words for him. Blaming off and on acts as a dessert in their tasteless life. Years keep rolling and health is deteriorating. Lunch/Dinners are still happening before Ravi leaves for a conference. Silence takes precedence mostly like always. Both are possessive about each other and it seems they don’t intend to bring it to the surface till their last breath. Who among them will leave first only God knows. Tough love has its best weaves only to be understood by those hearts where depth resides. Physically both are becoming weak but something is still intact and strong. For Vikrant, his parents are incompatible. Are they really incompatible? After so many years Ragini and Ravi still look forward to their trips to the restaurant whenever it is possible with a parting note ‘see you’.