Avi missed peace. His mind was always like a crossroad. Negativity ebbed from all corners. Nothing was going right. His girlfriend of seven years broke up with him. His parents had given up on him. This was the third job as assistant to a manager which he had left in succession in a span of six months. He hated being ridiculed for no reason. The inner turmoil made him careless thus welcoming his boss’s ire. The focus was amiss. Drugs got the better of him but he was sane enough to let them go that led to a void and unhappiness. Drugs gave him a new high but they also turned him a pauper and gullible. Irritable spells increased intolerance and hence the quitting of jobs started becoming a habit. No one knew what was eating him from inside. He himself had no clue and it pinched badly. Avi Singhal, all of 27 years of age, was thinking of ending his life. A life that is a gift from God was burdensome for him. A good life consists of doting accepting parents, a loving flexible girlfriend, a steady job, and peace of mind. Appetite had gone for a toss. He looked haggard and grey. Socializing was a far cry in such circumstances. Cleanliness was not a priority be it of himself or the hub he stayed in. His favorite joint was a Dhaba closer to his one-room apartment in the capital of India. For hours he sat there with nowhere to go. Sometimes he used to eat and sometimes he just stared.

His eCommerce firm had closed all doors for him after that rash behavior. Post that all he could think of was suicide instead of apologizing to get the job back. The rainy season saw an upsurge in customers for tea at the Dhaba. Tea gave way to small talk. Sitting dazed on the bench he overheard a man discussing his inability to satisfy his wife to a friend who he loved dearly. On the contrary Avi got carried away and reminisced about his days with Shivani. In Spite of his inability to keep a steady job, he was a hit with her girlfriend on those terms at least. The man was filthy rich but he was poor in that department of pleasure. He confessed to his friend to find a way to get a better hand at that after days of depression and self pity and this line itself deflected Avi’s morbid thoughts. He got up and rushed to his room. Felt a rush of happiness that at least he is a man out there if not nowhere in life. It gave him a kick and postponed his thoughts of seeking mortality. He slept elated that night as all was not lost. This was a rainy pouring Saturday of August in the year 2016.

The next morning, the same cloudy judgments clawed him. He wanted to jump off a cliff. The television news didn’t make any sense. World’s progress and trials meant nothing to him. Still lying in his bed post 1 pm it was the bleakest Sunday ever. He saw families living and visiting together for Sunday lunch all in good spirits and heart. This sight doubled his woes. His own parents had boycotted him early January for any unannounced droppings of his at their hard-earned premise. Everything was plain black. He crawled out of bed dejectedly to take a shower and opened the ventilation for fresh air and to his utmost surprise, a robin just fluttered in his direction, circled him, and sat opposite the commode directly looking at him. Avi was all naked and bathing. He felt an intrusion in his privacy but a beautiful one. Was it a messenger of God to pep him up? He kept thinking while bathing in his presence. Once done he turned off the shower faucet and reached for his towel which hung on a steel rod just adjacent to the robin. He covered himself and without startling or frightening the robin opened the door to his bedroom and the robin followed and sat on his work table. The robin cucked and chirred that killed the ominous silence of his bedroom. It joined him in the kitchen which was at the right of a huge room. He made two big packets of noodles for himself and ate them. The robin’s presence changed his mood. He felt wanted because of his constant gaze and off and on looking at his food. The robin even flew to him and also sat near the plate of noodles as if giving him the much-needed company. The evening turned into night and night turned into midnight but the robin did not leave his room. When did Avi zonk off he had no clue.

Next evening being a jobless Monday when he finally woke up listlessly he realized the robin had left. It brought to his notice that it was the most blissful sleep after years. That feeling itself placed a smile on his face. He opened the door to get the newspaper so as to find the notice of the landlord to vacate the room in a fortnight. All that sweet and accepted halo of thoughts were snatched by the notice. Rejection and ineptitude stared at him again. Was it a crime to smile though short lived it turned out to be always. He left the house in a rage to drink tea. After finishing it he headed to the nearby jeweler to sell his diamond jeweled watch which he had stolen from a mall. It turned out that it was fake thus cementing the fact that that shop was fake too hence the owners never chased him to return it if they had ever found out through their CCTV coverage. Doubts began to settle again. Is the world fake just like the watch? Humans exist so as to be fooled and robbed by fellow humans. Thanking the jeweler he left the shop and lazily and aimlessly walked roads with that sick thought resurfacing. It’s time to go forever. It’s a sign. He returned to his one-room house and reached for his girlfriend’s abandoned dupatta. He smelled it to familiarity. It reminded him of her thus fueling his thoughts to a new low. Tears trickling down his cheeks he stood on the bed and reached for the ceiling fan and tied the knot. But before he could tie a tight one heavy gusts of winds just didn’t let him as the ceiling fan started shaking violently. The wind was accelerating its speed of oscillations. This went on for two hours. Doors banged, windows creaked and hell broke loose on the roads. Trees got uprooted and heavy showers took away the peace which colored a busy Monday for the happening Delhites. Avi was cursing his luck. The entire night it rained and Avi all bound in his girlfriend’s dupatta nursed himself as well as his thoughts. It was not time yet. Luck was not on his side as this uncertain storm took away with it the electricity of his area and darkness colored their night. On an empty stomach, Avi cried himself to sleep.

Violent banging on the door made Avi jump off his sleep and bed on mischievous Tuesday. A bunch of boys had accidently kicked a ball that sat on his terrace. They were relentless as they kept thudding without a stop. Without Avi’s permission and key to the lock they stood helpless with no ball to play with. It was to be a final for which they were practicing. Football was their passion and passions don’t wait for time. Anytime is a good time for practice. Just that this unwanted halt of no ball with them had made them impatient thus resulting in perpetual knocking. Avi blasted them on opening the door.

“Is this the way to knock? How insolent of you all.” yelled Avi.

“We are sorry. But we just can’t sit and let the final slip from our hands can we?” cleared the captain of the team. “After all, we live only once so why not give it our best by utilizing every moment of our time we have for the final day.”

Avi was jolted from his slumber. Slumber full of self-pity, negativity, anger and so much more. Here he was a mess out of his own doing. Had he really given his best to live? No. He was downright questionable without any gratitude. The final was still far far away; he had time, youth, ability to make it alright. That liner from the captain hit him hard. Without saying a word he walked to the iron stairs and unlocked the door, picked up the ball, and gave it to the captain with ‘all the best for your game.’ The boys smiled and left. Tuesday gave the most valuable lesson of all time and he had a good meal to sleep off to a new day. Suicidal thoughts got replaced by applying to jobs for a fresh start before he slept.

Wednesday arrived with no beeps on his cellphone nor new mail in his inbox. Enough to dismantle the high spirits of gone Tuesday. No bath and confined to his room he stared at the ceiling with disgust. The frown was constant. Appetite was hardly there. Bad thoughts kept circling during bath, breakfast, lunch. He waited and waited but all turned out to be futile. Restless sauntering in his one-room house was a given. The stomping of feet was customary to vent. The silence of the room wasn’t helping him. Traffic on the street was irksome. He barged out of his room as he felt worthless. He stood on the road so as to run whenever a speeding vehicle came that way. But to his disappointment traffic was a tad slow. It was the tenth day of Ganesh Chaturthi and traffic was double due to its Visarjan. Religious followers had been on the roads thus doubling traffic. In his despair and sadness, he had not realized its auspiciousness and the worship that this festival holds. Avi was not an atheist but he was not even a lover of Gods either. It was time to back off as a speeding vehicle was out of the question. Policemen were on duty for the smooth functioning of vehicles so as not to disrupt the slow-moving crowds. Avi slept on the road drunk.

At 2 am on Thursday constant sirens and patrolling of police woke him up. He was hungry. He found himself on the road. A dog sat beside him and got scared when Avi started pushing him away whenever it tried to come near him. He was covered with a blanket that smelt bad but was warm to keep him asleep for that long. A beggar had been kind and smiled when he looked his way. The beggar was deaf and dumb but still, he smiled. He even offered him bread on his waking up and Avi just lunged for it and ate it in one go. He was ravenous and thirsty. After all, he did this to himself in a fit of rage. No place to live but the beggar was facing life each day. With no roof road and open sky as his abode, he wasn’t complaining in actions at least. After eating the bread Avi slept off again. That beggar stroked his hair to sleep. Noise, constant honking, chaos, and undying uncertainty didn’t disturb him in his sleep. That touch of the beggar was enough solace. Solace for his wounds and struggle to live each day. Thursday was pure magic. They didn’t speak after Avi had woken up but they spent the whole day together like long-lost friends. Time spent with the beggar gave him something that he never had. Acceptance of what he was and had become. That sense of acceptance by the beggar gave him strength.

Fast forward to 2018 Avi Singhal is the manager in a reputed hospital. Things are beginning to backfire after a good run of luck. Post spending the entire day with the beggar, on Friday of that week he had got a call to assist a doctor in his newly opened hospital. He was recruited to be one of the assistants for the needs of the startup hospital. With a lot of promise and zeal in spite of the pressure to do it right post getting training, Avi kept having suicidal thoughts. Patients and their grieving worried families’ hope fed him strength each day and he kept postponing it. So much strength and positivity that he could pull it through for two whole years. For two full years every weekend, he visited that beggar and now they live together. His parents are still cross with him. The girlfriend got married. He struggled every day to keep his ship of forgiveness and positivity afloat. The going is getting tough once again. Thoughts of her clog his mind. Still, he got promoted. The promotion gives way to responsibilities. Responsibilities towards strangers in the name of patients and assistants are reasons for stress. But Avi has started to think that God has and will always have his ways to push his thoughts to ‘Let’s do it tomorrow”.