Rajiv’s heart was racing again. Quickly he took out the bottle from the fridge and drank water. He felt a little better but anxiety kept controlling him. Half an hour passed but no respite. He could hear his heartbeat very clearly in the quiet room still. It was not a panic attack, just that his thoughts circled around Trishna yet again. Two years have passed since she left him forever for the inevitable journey of life but for Rajiv it seems as if it happened just yesterday. He is unable to accept her sudden death. They were dating and happy. On the last day of her life they had met as usual for lunch, left for work and the next thing he heard from the stranger who called from her phone that she was no more. A road accident took her away. It is very hard for him to distract himself, tears never flow but his heart races. 

Medically he is fit but these unannounced missing sprees take a toll on him. At 29 years of age this is a great loss for him to bear. Rajiv Shetty is a handsome bloke and works in a multinational company that manufactures toys. He is an assistant to the manager there and makes it a point to give his best. He lives with his parents and prefers isolation when he is not working. He is the only son of his parents who are aging gracefully. Both are working professionals and keep themselves busy. His father is a cashier in a government bank and his mother is a teacher in a reputed private school. There is still a decade to their retirement. They are oblivious to their son’s grief. For them he is a contented man. 

Trishna for Rajiv was his muse. She inspired him to be a better man. Shoulder-length hair, an arresting face and a little plump for her 27th year Trishna knew how to hold conversations. Her words were few but always left an impact. The lovebirds had met in a cinema hall and by sheer luck sat in the same row. During the interval while getting up she had dropped her phone and Rajiv had got up and given it back to her when she was buying eateries for the remainder of the film. Trishna had thanked him and something magical had happened when their eyes met. Rajiv had said she was most welcome and then returned to his seat. The rest of the movie made no sense to him as he simply got lost in the sweet encounter. 

Trishna worked in the cinema hall and initially once a month their bumping into each other was unavoidable. Rajiv was a movie buff just like Trishna and in no time phone numbers were exchanged and their love bloomed. She too was an assistant to the manager and both felt it was beyond awesome this side of fate. There were giggles, hanging out together, watching movies, dining out and physical intimacies too. Trishna had a roommate who worked nights for an American call centre. Twice in a month Rajiv could excuse himself for a night out with friends. His parents never suspected anything fishy as he always used to bring one of the friends home early in the morning. This way the secret was safe and rolled in his favor. 

Rajiv never could meet his girlfriend’s parents as they lived in a village. She had a brother who was ten years old. She was 26 years old when she got a job in the cinema hall and was promoted to an assistant due to her good work. Rajiv always liked a village because when he was ten years old his parents had taken him to a wedding and the milieu had left him mesmerised. The green fields, fresh air and vast openness just made him fall in love with it all. He wanted to stay back for a while but studies and her parent’s work pushed him to return to his birth city within 3 days. The hand pump, hay, bullock carts and simplicity of the village allured him. Misty mornings and the dew on grass with the morning sun used to elevate his mood. Whenever Trishna spoke about her village Rajiv used to picture it all in his mind. 

Trishna’s descriptions about the village made him feel that he is actually living there. The jumping of squirrels and chirps of birds whenever Trishna fed them while she was growing up were very dear to her. The hanging swing on the tree had its mystical charm during sunset. Trishna loved sitting on it and witnessing the sun going down. She enjoyed walking her two goats home after that. Most of the day they grazed and the love of his life played in the mud as well as guarded the goats. All these were beautiful memories and Rajiv visualized whenever his girl shared the minutest of her likings of the village. The usp of their relationship was these conversations more than the physical aspect of their emotions and desires. Now it all felt like a dream and his heartbeats never could stay in control when he walked down memory lane.

It’s going to be two plus years now Rajiv’s parents are noticing that those night outs are not happening nor any of his friends come over to stay. Whenever they ask him where they have disappeared then he assures them that they are busy with work or are married with a joyful tone. They share pictures of girls for a prospective bride to which he nods and answers with in due time Ma Baba I will do. Mr. and Mrs. Shetty mostly smile and hug their son after hearing these words from him. Actually Trishna and Trishna’s death is a figment of his imagination. He is suffering from schizophrenia and he himself nor his friends or parents know. Guess it had all started when he had returned from the village wedding. He missed the village but never could come to terms with returning to the city.