The cool breeze on Ankur’s face lights him up always. All worries disappear and he loves to revel in the sweet bonhomie of Godly caress. It’s been years now that he has been held romantically. He yearns for it beyond words. The object of his affection left him a decade ago. She found love again and broke his heart forever. Still it is too difficult to cope with it all. Mood swings, anger and self-pity are a part of his extended self. His entire existence revolved around her but it never could evolve into a wedding. Three years of courtship fell flat. He left the city as every place reminded him of her. They loved exploring and after she made an exit from his life suffocation engulfed him. 

For his parents the change wasn’t easy either but as their illnesses keep the trio busy Ankur never could share the grief which he harbours within. He cried often and after nearly a year after that breakup he smiles with no life in it. Tears have dried up and watching romantic films is a big no. His friends avoid going out with him. Everyone has gotten used to this new side of his. To refrain from any emotional entanglements he goes outside and eats his lunch on a particular bench which is surrounded by lush greenery. Then he walks and smokes a cigarette and returns to his workstation. This is the usual routine and he is pretty ok with it. 

Whenever he is not taking care of his parents he shuts himself in his room for an hour, simply does nothing and then shops for plants. For two days they remain in the balcony of his room untouched. After three days they are trimmed and planted in pots. The fourth day they are watered and fresh plants are bought. This cycle is on repeat till his terrace has no place left for any of this his parents feel so. Ankur was never inclined to plants ever. He admired nature indeed but getting into the nitty gritty of sowing seeds, gardening and watering them were never his leisure hobbies until now. 

Ankur Kher, likes wearing only jeans and t-shirts. This applies to his work too. He is a genius and enjoys being a software developer. His hair touches his shoulders.  By this feature he can be mistaken for a woman easily but has a very masculine body. A cleft in his chin gives him a very irresistible look, girls go weak in the knees but he just does not want to walk that road again. For him love happens only once in life. His father often jokes about how he had taken in many pleasures before settling in for his mother whenever alcohol colors their late evenings on occasions when the lady of the house prefers watching web series more than their company. 

Some questions have no answers. The smell of flowers and leaves soothes his anger, disappointment and dejection. Then his lover’s act of betrayal does not pinch bad. In their presence it feels more like someone is always around him. Protecting him, comforting him and healing him simultaneously. Children have that kind of aura just that humans realise when after growing up they leave the nest empty. The stillness he experiences on his terrace amidst his flora and fauna is indescribable. Had things gone his way by now at the age of 40 he would have been a father. His parents would have had grandkids. His plants were those babies. The more the merrier he became. 

The good thing about plants is that they may dry up but unless one moves them they don’t leave. They were there watching him, needed care, bloomed and spread happiness. Ankur invests in them as he feels alive in spite of the heartache. They aid him in being optimistic about everything uncertain around him. His parents will eventually leave one day but his babies will be there through a new sapling or a branch. His bitterness is decreasing and many could observe this. Spending time with them gives him strength to focus on things that matter, his parents, his job, this new city he has begun to embrace and belong to gradually. Who knows what more is coming his way because of this habit.