Kabir, 59, never thought in his wildest of dreams that he would have to leave a status on his sister’s social media account that Priyanka left for her heavenly abode all of a sudden. It was too quick for him too to ascertain it all. Priyanka was doing fine, he felt as she had her dinner, walked post eating her favourite meal and retired to her room as usual for a goodnight’s sleep. The next day she had to leave for a solo trip to a nearby hill station. Kabir was an early riser and had promised to wake her up at dawn before leaving for his morning walk. It was a rude and sad morning when he found his sister sleeping peacefully in spite of his soft pats on her icy cold shoulder. It took him no time to learn that Priyanka has gone forever. 

Condolences had started pouring as soon as the status became public. Disbelief, shock and prayers filled that space. Kabir had to mute all notifications to do the needful. A lot had to be done with no immediate help around. Shalini, his wife, was travelling to Canada from Dallas, Texas for a conference. A fortnight ago her company had organised a team building workshop in Dallas. Once the workshop got over she was slated to fly to Canada for a conference regarding a product launch which was due next month. Shalini, 55, worked as a software engineer and she was numb when she heard the shocking news as soon as she deplaned. Priyanka, her sister-in-law was more like a sister to Shalini. Life would be so different without her around now. She was sad as she was unable to be part of the funeral due to her tight schedule. 

Relatives kept visiting till the time Shalini was back in town. Kabir from the start hated staying alone. The funeral happened with rituals and went off peacefully. The house was eerie yet comforting. Memories flooded his mind once he used to get back from office. A busy mind is a good diversion amidst meetings, deadlines and reports. Kabir was a graphic designer and workload was numbing mostly. Home without his sister around used to bite him. Shalini his wife tried her best to not show whatever she was going through. Among the two of them she had to be stronger to get a grip on the tragedy that no one had seen coming their way. Priyanka was a fit woman all along just that since a couple of months post her retirement she was in a very different headspace and preferred keeping to herself mostly. 

Priyanka, 60, loved her life from the moment she chose to be a District Recruitment Officer. This government job helped her maintain relationships with recruitment agencies as well as educational institutions. Work kept her happy and occupied. She had no room for any relationship as a domestic life was not her cup of tea. Strategies and plans to recruit the right candidate took most of her time. She had congenial friendships with her colleagues and all respected her for her hard work, team spirit and leadership qualities. She was a role model for many. A long braid, confidence and intelligence added charms to her ethnic sari look. She was tall, dusky and very very focussed. She often got male attention without any efforts but she brushed it all aside as she was a workaholic. Thoughts on retirement dulled her majorly.

A couple of months ago before her untimely death the dreaded word became reality. Life seemed to have stopped for her. She was married to her work and now there was a lull and an end to it all. Siblings harboured love for each other but there was no display. Presence of each other in their ancestral house did the bit in the lap of hardly any conversation. With Shalini things were a little casual and loving. Hugs happened whenever needed and movie watching bridged the work-related absence which was more frequent as Shalini too loved her work. On the contrary Kabir Diwan was a video game addict and whenever the two women bonded he used to give them their desired space and kept himself happy and useful as there is never a dull moment in a graphic designer’s life. Creativity kept him busy when not gaming. 

Those empty hours of sitting idle frustrated Priyanka. There was a sense of identity loss. She was a homebird mostly. Social anxiety was finding newer roots. She never had the gift of the gab and was an introvert. She had a habit of speaking through her work but now it was all over. She lost appetite and book reading also did not give her pleasure. She was a doer and doing nothing emaciated her. Whenever her bro and sister-in-law asked her to join them for wedding invites she refused to be a part of it. She missed making strategies and plans required for recruitment which had been her forte all along. Life felt miserable. That haven of familiarity and comfort angered her more. This was not visible to the occupants of the house and gradually Priyanka was living in a shell. 

Traveling, gardening, exploring cuisines and people were not her kind of things. She missed her work desk. She felt lost and grew thinner as days passed by. With a lot of push from her brother she ended up booking tickets for a stay at the nearest hill station as she was hopeful things would turn around and she would feel better. At work she had travelled alone but for pleasure never before. She was more scared than excited but she never let her brother come to know about it. Fears surrounded her but the surface always showcased calm. She missed working and nothing on Earth could fill this vacant phase. Ambition drove her all her life and she got success too but it was a lonely position then too and now too a shade more in the absence of it. She lacked social skills and that may have led to a heaviness beyond repair. 

Priyanka Diwan, feared a solitary existence. A life without work, love, friends and something worth doing seems to have killed her. Nobody could guess what ate her as for the world she was a happily retired individual all set to embark on a solo trip. Everyone just gave in to the mask she wore post retirement. Social media added to her misery as she had nothing to share with the world.  She couldn’t fake it but time and again there were posts of communities that had something humorous and righteous to share. Posting regularly on social media acknowledges a fruitful and healthy lifestyle but only her God knew what was the real thing there. Before it all turned into a laughing stock for the world  the fear of a solo trip in the loss of identity got Priyanka. Death turned out to be the perfect mask for her eventually.