Everything is a ‘no problem’ for Harish be it office or home. He is a yes guy for anything anyone asks him to do. Not once indignation colors his face. A smiling countenance is his USP. A little abnormal trait but now people have gotten used to it for years now. It is not a facade nor is it any sort of escapism. He likes to be available wherever he thinks he can. An ordinary looking guy with this extraordinary streak makes him a very lovable man. At home, his mum is mostly in a very aggressive mood. Age is catching up on her and things which she used to do with elan now create chaos. Harish senses all of this and chooses to overlook it. Being a single child to a fatherless household had taught him at least this. When Harish was only 5 years old his father met with an accident and died on the spot. His mother took care of everything and he is still proud of her. 

Mrs. Kulkarni never could see it coming. She was a teacher in a government school and thankfully losing her husband was not a big financial blow. It was not easy to be both a dad and mum to Harish but she managed somehow. Now as she has retired that resilience and adaptability are on a way out. Harish is still not in the mood to settle down and this adds to the behaviour she currently loves to be in. Deep down he knows that his wife would add to her mum’s agony. A second woman will not be taken well as with certain gestures he fathoms his mum owns him. He was not a mama’s boy but Mamta is a very possessive mother. She likes to choose what he wears to office and Harish does not mind. He likes it on the contrary. 

Harish is a spitting image of his father be it his looks or mannerisms. Mamta had a choice to marry again as her in-laws were very liberal but she never had the heart to replace Ajay with anyone. Besides the fact that through Harish her husband is always there. Often she went into a trance in his growing up years as in a way she was witnessing Ajay grow up. It was a beautiful godly setup yet bit her badly when she longed for a man instead to fulfill her bodily needs. In imagination one can do a lot but presence just does wonders. Till it lasted both Ajay and Mamta had an adventurous married life and she still feels that is more than enough. These aggressive spells are those suppressed desires that she thinks she hides well. Harish is a good mind reader and chooses not to spill whatever he reads about his mother, not even to his shadow. 

He does maintain a diary on weekends. Being a manager in a toy manufacturing firm is not easy. There are long discussions, design layouts, safety concerns and pre-sale tensions. Working in such an environment also keeps the child in him alive and any new angles are safely penned. There are obscure thoughts with graphics and sometimes pretty normal pourings too which he journals for his own comfort. He isn’t lonely just that he likes it this way. Whenever he is unable to contain his libido paid sex with protection keeps him sane. On those nights when he is away one of his office friends is around to keep a watch on his mother. Mamta enjoys porn while his son is away. Her fantasies get a boost and somehow she realises Ajay is around when she has her heart’s fill and this brings double bliss. 

The mother and son generally have very little conversation. She conveyed her love through touch when he was in school. Cuddled him often, gave shoulder rubs, head taps, forehead kisses and massaged his legs when he returned from school. Harish was never deprived of parental love. Sports was an activity that they both enjoyed. Badminton was their favourite, especially before bedtime. When he started going to college this bit totally made an exit from their lives. Early stages of arthritis had set in for his mother so on holidays playing cards became the new norm. It still continues whenever Mamta is in the mood. More was understood and eyes did the talking. Gestures conveyed a sense of belonging and care. 

His annoying habits like not eating were dealt with frowns. Harish hated her mother frowning so ultimately he had to eat. She looked like a horrible witch to him and took away his sleep. The mere knowledge of his thoughts made her smile.  More than being angry Mamta used to make the most obnoxious face and that always straightened him. His mom had short hair, a curvaceous figure and an arresting face. Outings always got her second looks and Harish found it cool. When he gave her a treat in an expensive restaurant after getting the job the response of onlookers was the same. It made him frown as she was aging like fine wine. This too was noticed by her mum with no words uttered. Inwardly she was reminded of Ajay once again.

It’s been a month now and everyone is noticing shades of angry spells on Harish. It’s something so unimaginable when his reputation is of a chilled out guy. Some think it’s his bachelorhood which needs a life partner. Some feel it’s his mother’s dwindling health. Some speculate about his losing interest at work. No one has been comfortable enough to ask why this is so. Harish has stopped journaling too. Night outs are rare. The silence is too much to bear. Years of quiet spells it seems have started taking a toll. There has been no travel. No social life either but just work and home. His mom has stopped conveying her love through caring loving touches. Her illness has deprived him of her involvement in his life. He wears clothes of his choice to work now. He yearns for a meaningful relationship. A fat paycheck doesn’t bring happiness. 

He wants to talk but it’s a bubble he is unable to burst. At 40 he feels like 70. It’s a deep hole with no point of return. Monotony has already set in. Watching his mother die a little everyday is killing him. He isn’t suicidal he can’t afford to till the time his mother is alive. He prays for her long life daily. Life was not supposed to be like this but it is like this unfortunately. Out of the blue Iran has been attacked by Israel and the US. The world is shaken and the Kulkarnis are stunned too. Dubai airport has been hit by Iran and Mamta can’t stop talking about her unrealised and unspoken dream of visiting with her son. For the world this war is a catastrophe but for the Kulkarni household its a silver lining. Anxious hugs are being exchanged. Words are flowing like never before.