Tuesday, 14th February 2017 sealed Kilu’s fate in the most unfortunate manner. Kilu, the bookmark got stuck in Jane’s personal diary for eternity it seemed to him. One phone call from her childhood friend changed everything for him. He got locked in that diary. It’s going to be six months now but no silver lining in his woes. Jane hasn’t opened the journal yet. Jane loved to read. Writing personal journals was her favorite pastime. Dreams were jotted down too for remembrance as well as follow-ups. For a year or two Kilu dressed as ‘halts’ in the book, she chose to read. This way Kilu had a brief romance with most of them without any attachments. Books are someone else’s words & ideas savored by the reader that help relate and gush simultaneously. He always looked for a personal touch of the owner on him. Jane owned him by buying him from one of the shops in Bengaluru. It was an interesting day in his life when her house, especially her shelf of books, had to become his home. A miracle he had not seen it coming for long. For months people picked and returned him to his corner in the shop at Brigades, Bengaluru. Dejected and unwanted Kilu used to retire to his thoughts among other fellows. He was white in color with a scenic backdrop. A message ‘pick me up to halt’ decorated his header. 

Jane had picked him up with a smile and off he went with her with new aspirations & hopes. It was a very fulfilling day for Kilu as he finally found his owner, a girl. His first brush with a female was in the form of Kasi Ma who had invented him from a shiny hard paper. Hard enough to be made into a bookmark. He was painted white with a lot of zeal as if a silver lining finally touched him. For months he was part of a very big scroll of paper unknown to his destiny. Spread out like a huge monster with no features, just a flat belly. Kasi Ma gave him features by cutting his dimensions proportionate as well as apt to be a bookmark. Kilu was so excited for his anatomy to be chiseled by a woman. A man was being carved for the greater good of humanity. Her hands were like God for him. Kasi Ma’s imagination would help him charm a buyer. This thought alone made him excited and with bated breath, each day helped wait his turn to be crafted into a beauty. 

Kasi Ma was known for her artistry. A fine woman who was making her way into the world by paper beautification. She made wedding cards, business cards, diary covers and calendars. A business she took up after losing her husband to a stroke. Her husband had married young and Kasi Ma too was barely into her teens. She was a devoted homemaker for almost all of her time with her hubby. Ravi off & on took notes to help him expand his business not knowing Kasi Ma was an artist herself. Patriarchy can be a disease and Kasi Ma loved her husband so much that she never wanted to hurt him by boasting about her talent. Until that fateful day in November 2016 tables turned, at the age of 70 Kasi Ma got her due. She took over the business three days after her hubby’s cremation. She had to earn her own living as Kasi Ma was barren. Her creations became her produce cum children and Kilu was another feather in her creative finesse.

Created by Kasi Ma, Kilu was a beautiful bookmark. White background with slight shimmer. Words embellished in light pink and silver that gave a natural glow in the dark. Hand painted by Kasi Ma with stickers lasting a lifetime Kilu was invented so as to be sold in one of the elitist shops of a market called Brigades. The scenic look of Kilu got Jane interested. Jane loved to travel. Books and travel go hand in hand and to her Kilu was the apt add-on to the list of essentials. The moment stayed special for Kilu for days on ends. The minute he entered Jane’s home there was an air of awe and a sense of belonging. Kilu was not the only occupant as there were many others teasing a book yet safeguarding the page she had stopped. Jane hopped from one book to another without finishing it. Moods helped her pick them. A horror story painted her day if the mood demanded. Likewise she used to pick it up from where she had stopped. For days that book used to be with her and post a mood swing any genre made way. Ten books at a time were near perfect patterns. Ten bookmarks were already in her life. Kilu had to earn his space. Not a tough call but not very easy it was either. Kilu was hopeful though.

Jane was the third and last child to Evans. Her father Martin worked at the US Embassy in Chennai. Most of the paperwork he managed through work from home as he was the website designer. Thrice in a fortnight, he had to be present at the Chennai office and when Kilu got in the house he was away on duty.  Kilu liked it that Jane’s siblings Chloe & Kane picked him up in their hands to acknowledge their liking. Their touch was gentle and absorbing. Mom Kate always let Jane be, be it her choices or shopping picks. Only post a leisurely hour that happened in days did she cast her eyes on things bought by Jane as Jane was a big girl. While pursuing her graduation Jane had picked up the habit of writing down snippets that warmed her heart. Her personal journal was tucked away under her pillow. The bookshelf sat opposite her bed and Kilu normally lay there with the others post his homecoming. It was a brief greeting with the rest of them. Kilu got quite fond of Tethers who decorated one of the pages of a very fat historical book. Tethers all green in color in the shape of a panda became his close friend. When the whole world was asleep they often whispered their thoughts that hovered around life in general. This friendship was a dear one but it was short-lived in terms of physical proximity. 

Kilu underwent a promotion too soon. Within two year’s time, he was shifted to grace Jane’s journal. A blessing he never saw coming. Books are mostly picked at a leisurely hour but a journal is a regular affair. An affair that you breathe every day of your life. The devoted ones follow it to the point of obsession and Jane had a lot to confess. That journal gave her that opening. Kilu reminded her of travel pleasures. Travel helps one write and just looking at him invoked Jane to pour her thoughts. When done she used to seal the page by placing Kilu in there. A closeness so special yet so distant. Words were Greek for him as Kilu just couldn’t read and understand what Jane poured on them. A dilemma of not knowing her owner’s thoughts irritated him to death. This episode always made him freeze as it made him realize about his incompleteness. There was no romantic angle to it but he felt helpless and unfortunate.

“O Tethers if only I could know what she is writing, life would be so different. I know I push her to write unknowingly,” confided Kilu.

“You can’t have it all. Something will always be amiss Kilu.” lectured Tethers.

“The beauty lies in accepting the good things, I agree.” concluded Kilu.

Whenever in doubt or depression this small talk across the room elevated Kilu’s low moods. It was not common knowledge for all bookmarks as it was coded in a way only both friends could understand. Life did give them a chance to be in each other’s space through the maid of the house. Every two days the bookshelf was dusted and likewise, the bedsheet underwent a change too. While doing it Anne the maid stashed all books and journals in one place. This was one of the best moments for all non-living occupants of the house. They mingled, greeted, and had fun through their guarded whispers. Anne was too quick a maid. Her touch was a little brazen compared to Evans’. An air of carelessness was her undetected halo for humans. Kilu and the ilk had gotten used to it over time. She was alert in the presence of Evans’ but otherwise, it was her signature.

“Wish I was a human too Tethers.”

“You are not so now don’t mull over it, please Kilu.”

“But you know I look forward to feeling their vibes all around us. The confused ambitious lot teaches us so much as here we are as non-entities just providing a means to remember the page they had stopped reading. Devoid of any ambition so to sit pretty like a showpiece. Beauty for the eyes with no purpose.”

“Rightly said Kilu.”

“My brief stint with books on the shelf did propel me into a brief no-nonsense romance indeed but a journal helps one see and know your owner’s mindset. That will never come my way.”

“Move on Kilu, you are by far at a much better place don’t you think?” cried Tethers.

Kilu was plain lucky on this turf. Yes he nodded.

Martin Evans was a tall man in his mid 40’s. Jane had fallen sick one rainy night so he did pay a visit to her bedroom while she was writing. Kilu was lying close to the journal. Caring pleasantries were exchanged and he did see there was a new member in the house in the form of Kilu. “So you picked another one, Miss Collector of Good Things, I see. Hope you are comfortable, goodfella? Jane, please don’t be up for too long. Give those eyes and hands a little rest please, Thank You.”

“He left the room with a kiss on her forehead without touching me Tethers but I will say the man is an enigma, you agree?”

“O yes he is.” agreed Tethers.

“A man of few words but a loving soul, his actions conveyed that Tethers.”

“You are spot-on on that one buddy,” Tethers exclaimed.

On Sundays, the Evans mostly huddled together for quality time. This meant more outings, outdoor games, and mall hopping. Kate too felt a connection with the entire family and looked forward to it. Jane didn’t miss writing that was certain as she was hardly in her room. She used to enter at the dead of night so to face the next day. Relatives did drop by but Kilu never saw any but just faint noises filling the air around him. Evans’ had no enemies it appeared and seemed.

Two months of bliss had to have an abrupt halt. The new year get-together went smoothly with loads of memories for the Evans family. That call from her friend was to be a brief visit but it is not. Anne has become predictable and it’s boring for Kilu. There is no sign of Jane. Martin while on the phone had entered Jane’s room as that’s when he learned that Jane had an accident. She had a concussion as she tripped while on her way home. The doctor asked for admittance to a hospital that led to major findings of a clot in the brain. It was so fatal that a surgery had to be performed thus leading Jane to a coma. The overheard news numbed Kilu. The 6-month long ignorance was totally understandable now. The doctor was just briefing Martin on the phone about the progress of six months. Jane’s room and belongings gave the rest of the family a sense of her presence in the house and Martin was no different. In the past six months, every member frequented Jane’s room without any word emit. They grieved in silence adding to Kilu’s discomfort. But now all was clear.

Tethers was jolted too. A lot was at stake. When shall Jane wake up nobody had a clue. Patience was a virtue in given circumstances. The lock-up was getting on Kilu. It was not planned but destined by God. Kilu was suffocating and grieving a shade more post knowing the facts. He was irritable and missed Jane badly. The silence was a common language for all in the house. Bookmarks were no different. Monsoons were at its peak all over India. Bengaluru too was soaked and wet most days thus leading to damp rooms. August is the official month for rains and a boon for some and a bane for some. Bookshelves demanded sunlight. Anne was given the task to spread out all of them on a wooden plank in the courtyard. Journals had to share the same fate. A tonic for soggy interiors non-living things in the form of paper loved such phases. Anne was a little grumpy as Evans’ had been losing a lot of tempers lately. A tiff was common on a daily basis. Gusts of wild winds in the lap of the sun were making matters worse for her and books did fall from her firm grip. Jane’s journal fell too which had Kilu. 

Kilu slipped from the journal on hitting the ground and perpetual gusts of wind took him away to the wall of the courtyard facing the road. While he was rolling with the wind oblivious to Anne’s watchful eyes his first day in Evans’s House flooded him. A home he had gotten used to was to turn an alien really? A fresh set of experiences awaited Kilu. What was in store for him who could tell? Was he ready for it? Kilu with misty eyes just looked ahead with a heavy heart.